Just Enough

In the competitive world of high school achievement, does the relentless ambition to succeed push students into moral dilemmas that come at the cost of being a “good person” or of remembering what matters beyond achievement?

Most people don’t wake up one day intending to compromise their integrity. More often than not, they slowly convince themselves that one exception is justified, then another, and then one more after that. Dr. David Rettinger, an academic integrity researcher and president emeritus of the International Center for Academic Integrity, put it this way in a 2018 interview with Edutopia: “They cheat just enough to maintain a self-concept as honest people. They make their behavior an exception to a general rule.” Students who feel pressured to achieve success rationalize cheating and create a shield between their actions and their honor. Students may convince themselves that cheating is acceptable because the outcome will be worth it. But this article isn’t really about cheating. It’s about a broader question: “Can we strive for high achievement without sacrificing our character, relationships, and other important parts of our lives?”

The cheating example is just one of many ethical dilemmas you may face as a high school student. But these dilemmas don’t always involve academics. As we see in the scenario above, some of the hardest decisions need to be made when our relationships, ambitions, and values don’t all point in the same direction. Those moments rarely have a perfect answer, which is exactly what makes them so difficult. They force us to decide what we’re willing to prioritize, compromise, and sacrifice.

Many kids spend their time trying to climb to the top of what feels like a never-ending mountain. They climb without ever lifting their heads to see how far they’ve come. As a student at one of the most competitive schools in the country, Harvard-Westlake, I have been able to see how ambition shapes the way we see ourselves and the world around us. We can’t help but compare ourselves to our classmates. But when we do, we sometimes convince ourselves we’re falling behind when the truth is we’re actually so far ahead. And it is that misconception that contributes to creating a competitive environment where no matter how much you accomplish, it never feels like enough. While this mindset is not unique to our school, this kind of pressure can push us to make choices we might not otherwise make.

Success and high achievement are broad concepts, but at Harvard-Westlake and other similar high schools, they are often more narrowly defined. First, there’s the pressure to earn good grades. That sort of academic pressure can start to feel less like a way to learn and more like a measure of your worth, making every test, assignment, and grade feel like a verdict on you as a person. Second, there’s the pressure to maximize extracurriculars, whether through sports that consume your free time, clubs that you aren’t passionate about, or non-profits that aren’t meaningful to you. It’s easy to feel like you have to do it all and be the best at it all, which can lead to situations where your values get tested. Sometimes, it’s as harmless as cutting corners to get something done. Other times, it could mean prioritizing your own success over someone else’s well-being. At the end of the day, both are choices you feel forced to make. In an environment where success is so important, it can feel like there’s no other option. But feeling this pressure doesn’t take away our responsibility to make good choices. We still must decide whether to let ambition or the desire for success outweigh our values. Trust me, I’m not saying ambition or success is bad. I would say most of us at Harvard-Westlake are ambitious people. But it’s about finding the right balance and knowing when you’ve gone too far. At the end of the day, success looks different for everyone. Realizing that your grades and extracurriculars do not define who you are as a person is the first step towards making choices based on your own values and beliefs rather than your ambition to succeed.

This is the last scenario I want you to step into:

It wasn’t the first dinner you missed, and it wasn’t the first time you said no to friends. You tell yourself it will all be worth it one day and you can spend time with your family and friends once you get into college.

I believe relationships with people are the most important part of a person’s life. Who cares how high you’ve climbed if you’re alone at the top? When all is said and done, no grade, award, or extracurricular activity can replace the relationships in your life and the memories you could have made with people who care about you.

High school is only one chapter of our lives, but it often serves as a preview of the real world. The pressure to achieve, compete, and get ahead doesn’t disappear after graduation, but rather intensifies in different ways. The choices we make now, and the values that guide those decisions, are the same ones we’ll carry forward. The pressure to succeed will always exist. The question is how we will go about trying to achieve that success and what we will sacrifice along the way. Will we compromise our values and the people we love to get ahead, or will we make the “right decision” even when it’s hard? I hope in reading this, you can find a balance between success and what matters most in life when faced with difficult decisions. One bad test grade isn’t the end of the world (even though it can feel like it at the time), but one bad decision can compromise your character and relationships. For high achievers, success is something you’ll likely spend your lifetime trying to achieve. So maybe the question isn’t whether you’ll achieve it, but how and at what cost.